Sunday, October 2, 2011

Break my heart for what breaks yours

Break my heart for what breaks yours

This week has been an interesting week. It started off with an Acts assignment where we are to journal about what we want to see in our studying this semester and how we want to grow in our relationship with God. As I was completing this assignment, I was singing Hosanna in my head, and thought- what would it mean to sincerely pray to feel what breaks God’s heart? As part of the assignment I thought maybe I can focus on these words this week. Well, careful what you pray for…

Let me set a scene, my normal homework routine consists of three things before I am ready to be completely focused; I sit down, organize my workspace and of course check my Facebook. Well as I was creepin’, I come across this picture:

(The person who posted it is a friend from high school who is fighting for gay marriage)

Words cannot describe how I felt. I was filled with anger, disgust and was so sad at the same time. Instantly I thought, wow out of context, but as I looked up the passage, it was simply summarized. What broke my heart was that I couldn’t explain to the ones who loved the post so much that it was written in the Old Testament and that it is the old law that Jesus fulfilled. I never get into religious debates, but this overwhelming feeling consumed my thoughts and within an hour after reading it I felt the need to post something. I simply stated that it was out of context and that it was in the old laws. Knowing that I would get some kind of response, I read the hateful comments of a claimed Atheist who made it clear to me that he was not only close minded about everything I had to say about the topic but also was making it known to everyone how much he hated God. I am not going to sit here and comment about everything that he had to say, nor am I going to quote him, out of respect for him as well as not gossiping about the situation (even though it is open on a conversation for everyone to see). But reading his comments had me sitting back and attempting to grasp how anyone could view the world this way. I have come across claimed atheists before, however this conversation was so different than anything else. It might have to do with lack of knowledge, but his twisted view of God as an evil mass murderer broke my heart.

I thought about him all day, as well as have been praying about him, hoping that the seed of truth that I might have planted on Facebook (so silly right?—but we do live in a technologically absorbed era) will someday grow into something bigger. Is this pain that I felt after reading this conversation the same sort of pain that God feels when he feels heartbreak? This conversation was all that I have thought about all weekend. Praying for that kind of heartbreak is not something that should be taken so lightly simply because we like that song. What was even worse is that he is not the only one that is having these opinions towards God. Could you imagine the heartbreak God feels there?

Even though this deeply saddened me, I feel as though it was a great experience. I know I didn’t even come close to breaking through to the guy, however it made me look into my faith further in order to defend it. Even if it was simply reading the passage that he stated. But his comments allowed me to reflect as a form of defense on how powerful God really is and how much he has done for me and everyone that I could not even kind of imagine an atheist lifestyle like the guy asked me to. I cannot imagine a world that was not created by such a powerful and relational Creator. Expressing my thoughts over a Facebook feed was hard for me too, since I am not usually outgoing and argumentative with people who are so set in their ways. I am glad that God opened my eyes to this hurt as well as allowed me to see how lost the world is.

I have quoted this many times before but this couldn’t be more applicable:

“Do not blame the dark for being dark, but blame the light for not shining bright enough in the darkness”

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

Time to bring that lamp out.


To fulfill all of the requests to hear the lovely possum story here you go:

Imagine me, the ever so kind tall harmless redhead, coming home from work. As I am walking through the parking lot, still singing some Taylor Swift after my car ride, heading towards my dorm (carrying my life in my purse filled with homework and food, as well as Rafael--by giraffe water bottle) I turn the corner to the dark walkway next to the dumpsters behind the back entrance to my dorm. As I get closer to the dumpster, this high pitched squeal echoes out from the pitch black corner. Now some of you might have not been so blessed to see me completely lose my senses when something absolutely terrifies me, but I almost peed my pants. I freak out, drop my water bottle and take off as fast as I can. I turned around to grab my water bottle and saw this black and white ball of fur with its hair all raised screaming at me. This dang possum apparently found some goldmine of garbage that he did not want to share with me. After I saw what the stupid screaming was I really wanted to throw something at it, out of complete anger and attempt to redeem my pride, but lucky possum is protected by some kind of law that makes it a felony to kill a possum. I am sorry who passed that law? They apparently were not screamed at.

1 comment:

  1. I'm really proud of you for saying something Jacqueline, if there's anyone who could ever speak the truth in love, it's you. I think that's one of the best testaments we can give, when someone is there bashing our faith and we don't get angry but listen to what they're saying and respond with patience and grace.